


I wish✨

by Rueis



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt, Implied Relationships, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Onesided crush on berukia's part, Secret Crush, The Pocky Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 16:36:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10312538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rueis/pseuds/Rueis
Summary: Berukia comes to realize that being in love hurts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> you ever just. hate yourself? 
> 
> implied sakuya/tsubaki i guess?? and jealous berukia. yeah.... yeah....

_I wish I didn’t love you._

Berukia often finds himself thinking that when he looks at Tsubaki because it hurts.

It's confusing and he doesn’t like the pain that he feels because of said emotion.

It is the motion of caring far too much just for someone to not notice you at all or not only want your attention, but somewhere the magician knows he shouldn’t be thinking that.

Though it still doesn’t settle any of the selfish thoughts within him.

_I wish you would look at me._

_Only me._

_Not_ _him._

_Me..._

Berukia feels in the end that he has no right to think that way, Sakuya hasn’t done a thing wrong to him and it isn’t as if he hates him.

He just hated that Tsubaki saw him too, and how Tsubaki smiled and laughed differently when he was with Sakuya.

It isn’t like he and Tsubaki are a thing.

It's foolish jealousy.

_It's foolish jealousy._

It was fine... wasn’t it? 

* * *

 

Berukia sighed to himself as he returned from the kitchen and was going to return to his room but stopped himself when he heard Tsubaki's laughter, to which the Servamp was cuddling with Sakuya and bonding.

Sakuya seemed disinterested but Tsubaki still seemed to be having fun.

The Servamp shoved the stick like object to Sakuya's mouth. “What the fuck, what do you want me to do with it? I bought it for you, or well, you had me run and get them for you,” Sakuya replied not sure what exactly the point of pocky sticks were but Tsubaki simply said to humor him and share them with him.

“I guess,” Sakuya said as he held it in his mouth, about to bite into it when Tsubaki took the other end and like that, their lips met.

Sakuya stared blankly before replying, as if he'd been shocked by the sudden gesture but Tsubaki seemed neither phased nor bothered by it at all.

“What, what was that for?” 

“It's a game, Sakuya, I wanted to try it. It was interesting! Thank you,” Tsubaki then proceeded to laugh.

Sakuya simply gawked, still not understanding the point of it... but he supposed that Tsubaki was strange, all the while Berukia returns to see their act, to which he drops his glass to the floor, as he hurries off to his room.

_It’s fine._

_It's fine_.

Tsubaki wasn’t his so it was fine.

It was fine...

So then why did it hurt so much?

Why did it bother him at all?

Why was he even crying?

_Why?_

Berukia tugs at the scarf around his neck, it’s warm, full of love; something that Tsubaki gave him.

_It hurts._

Berukia's eyes shamelessly let tears fall and the magician can’t help what he thinks as he tugs at the scarf around his neck.

_I wish you loved me._

_I wish you saw me too._

_I wish I meant something more to you._

_I wish you loved me and only me._

_It hurts._

_It…_  
_Hurts…_


End file.
